Monday, April 4, 2011

Cratered

I wrote this in first person. However, this is dedicated to the people in my life (both online and in person) that suffer from anxiety and stress. I pray for their recovery.





Divot my skin
Round chemical markers colliding
All seeking purchase
In triangular receptors

The storm rages on
And the body is pelted
A hailstorm of Mexican jumping beans
Pinging from tip to toe

I am not laughing
There is no place
I can leave my own body?
Give it back perhaps?

Only the Andrea Gail
Knows my ocean
Trapped on this
Hurling asteroid
Stinging with the strike
Of a thousand wasps

22 comments:

versebender said...

Wow...does this ever describe that out-of-control stressed out feeling. It could also describe someone suffering from treatment for some medical condition..the cure almost worse than the disease. Anyway..this hits hard. Well done!!! Vb

hedgewitch said...

A vivid take on stress and actually rather stressful to read--in a good way. Last lines in particular are excellent.

Berowne said...

The strike of a thousand wasps.
I've been in that storm...

thingy said...

I felt it. I have felt it. Terrific words, Kristen.

honeyhaiku said...

Well rendered; I am very familiar with these feelings, nice to see the penned so well.

Tumblewords: said...

I recognize this. You've done a fine job of writing. The sting of a thousand wasps is wonderfully said.

Isabel Doyle said...

well done - we all know those gaping feelings don't we?

120 Socks said...

Difficult subject, but we all see a bit of ourselves in it, which sort of makes it feels less lonely. Well done, give them wasps a whack for me!

Lyn said...

Who hasn't wanted to hide from themselves..you made some excellent points!

annell said...

I like this very much!

anthonynorth said...

Yes, strike of a thousand wasps is an excellent way of describing it.

Tess Kincaid said...

This packs a powerful punch, Kristen. I especially like your last stanza.

Vicki Lane said...

Wonderful interpretation of the prompt! Quite powerful writing.

Helen said...

Pretty serious stuff ~ pretty great stuff ........

Steve Isaak said...

Good read, particularly appreciated the last stanza-lines.

Carrie Burtt said...

Kristen you have captured anxiety well in the powerful poem.

Margaret said...

Wow. I truly hope this was mostly fiction! Very clever take - I went for the obvious. I need to get a bit more creative, I think! LOL.

Trellissimo said...

Ouch! My skin is stinging...

Lolamouse said...

Wow-you describe the feeling of intense anxiety very well. I've had that "pinging from tip to toe" feeling and it's awful. Very well done.

Lucy Westenra said...

I needed to remind myself about the Andrea Gail to see the poem as a perfect storm of emotions. Good poem.

signed...bkm said...

wonderful how you pulled the skin to the out limits of a asteriods stinging with the steike of a thousands wasps...a great title for the piece....bkm

Bee's Blog said...

I know this feeling only too well. You described it to a T. Very well done.