Sidebar: Many years ago I frequented a small Irish pub. My experiences drive me to work on this small group of characters. Tiny is my first. Posted below is my first draft. Tiny was an actual bouncer and some of how I describe him is true but most of it is completely made up. Incidentially, the real Tiny did not have a problem with BO.
|Photo from Google Images|
Tiny was the harbinger of order for a chaotic Irish pub. He smoked like a chimney and guzzled Guinness like it was water. Most days he was a sheep in lion’s clothing. His laugh was guttural with a tempo that flowed into a hacking wheeze. He perched himself at the bar’s end. Strategically this was optimal because one of his many duties was to keep track of the regulars and their typical shenanigans. Tiny was hard to miss, his chubby rosy cheeks and blood shot green eyes were framed by a shocking mess of unmade bed hair. The whole sorted mess of a head was perched on top of his thick six foot four inch frame. His gut was legendary. The way most beer drinkers gain a gut, Tiny had more than enough for a few. Yet this did not slow him down when he needed to be at the top of his game. He moved with the alacrity of someone half his size and was a bit windy when doing so. Aside from his putrid cloud and a camel dangling from his bottom lip he was a fine bouncer and Axel couldn’t have had a better employee even if he wasn’t his younger brother.
To say he was a mess was stating the obvious as he couldn’t completely be counted on to wear a clean shirt or change his underwear with regularity. But his heart was big and when his odor exceeded his heart’s capacity and reached the unmanageable Axel would send him home to mom. She would straighten him out. From the moment he stepped into her front door she stripped him down to the nitty gritty, tossed him a robe sending him straight up to wash behind those ears. “Be a good lad and make your mom proud, get up there and shower off the week’s stench while I make you a nice breakfast.” The boy would do anything his mother instructed.