Sometimes I get a little mad because I think there is too much emphasis on other people's feelings and not enough on straight talk and honesty. I can appreciate not wanting to tell someone something because they don't want to hurt feelings but sometimes not telling them is worse. In most situations it would be better to know certain information than be left with feelings that may or may not be the truth because there was not room enough for honesty and integrity. I would appreciate the information rather than being left with feelings that may or may not be true.
Then there are others who want to keep everything secret but they themselves don't keep the secret. If you really require secrecy in your life then tell no one. I mean no one. If you want to share the information with a select few then it is no longer a secret and you will have to accept that at some point the people you are attempting to keep secrets from often find out any way.
When you who prefaced your secret with, "I am going to tell you something but you have to swear not to tell this person or that person." Well that is silly and should be left on the junior high play ground. If you are living your life with that much secrecy required maybe you should look at how you are living. Be honest with yourself and with others and you won't need all that BS.
For the record I have decided that if you do not want your secret told and you make that statement then tell your secret you are either not serious or you are stupid because you just told a fallible human your secret. If you tell me that you have to tell me but preface that I cannot tell anyone else, well do me a favor and don't tell me. I don't have the energy or patience to play that game.
I look at it this way. If you tell me something that are you feelings and you just need an ear I am certainly smart enough to keep that to myself and out of respect for you and others around me, I will do my very best to keep your feelings to myself.
If you tell me something that you are telling everyone anyway then you have to go and interrogate everyone after the people who you don't want to know get in the know. Well like I stated I don't have the time or the patience for that and I will be offended if you interrogate me. I am generally a smart person occasionally I slip up I am after all human but for the most part I try really hard to hear people and respect them and with that said tell me or don't either way is okay by me but don't ask me to play your game.